Unexpected (Fictional) Deaths

Posted: November 25, 2011 in Novels
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Tiberius Kane is coming for you, punk.

I’m the kind of guy who needs to write novels with an outline firmly in place. Now, it’s nothing too super-detailed. In the case of No Escape from Planet Motherfucker, it consists of four pages, and about 1,700 words, a chunk of which is character notes. I have each chapter notated with a few sentences about what I hope to do with the chapter, maybe a line of dialogue if it comes to me in the outlining process.

The point is, it still leaves a certain amount of room for surprises.

For instance, I somehow thought I might build some sort of relationship chemistry between the captain of the ship and the newly hired pilot, a re-commissioned nanny-bot called Anibell. But the problem is, the two of them get split up reasonably early in the book, and both have serious character exploration when they’re isolated. That doesn’t make for relationship material. Meanwhile, I had two support characters who were trying to figure out how to rescue their missing crew members.

But here’s the deal. If the narrative is split into three relatively equal portions, then you don’t have two protagonists and support characters. You have an ensemble cast. I just didn’t realize that when I outlined.

The distinction isn’t a minor one. I had plotted out character arcs for the captain and pilot. They were going to grow and learn and all the things you want from main characters. The other two were comic relief.

Except they weren’t. Not really. In fact, because they had so much time to interact with each other, they ended up developing in ways I hadn’t planned on. One character, a philosopher who has gone through some rough career changes, ended up channeling my father who died about seven years ago. That was weird, but it made sense. They were both philosophers, and they had some similar world views.

Then they came up with pet names for each other: little twig and big blue. Where the hell those came from, I don’t know. But their dialogue came naturally to me, and it carried those names with it.

Then the pair splits to do separate things as we near the big second turning point. He’s already been a bit introspective. She’s enthusiastic. She calls him handsome as she leaves.

And I realized that these two had the budding of a relationship that I never saw coming.

Less than a minute later, I realized that I needed to kill one of them because of it. I had to step away from the computer for bit when I realized that. But it was true. It was right. One of my heroes was going to take a dirt nap by the end of the novel.

Yes. Say it. I know you want to. I’m a fucking monster.

Why can’t I let love live?

Maybe it’s because I’m a heartless bastard who wouldn’t know a healthy relationship if it wrestled him to the ground. Maybe it’s done to respect the source material and show just how dangerous and disposable these character’s lives are. Maybe it’s a direct order from my dark master Joss Whedon. Or maybe, and hear me out on this one, maybe it’s because it makes for the stronger story.

I’ll let you decide when you read it.

And no, I won’t tell you which one I’m going to kill. One, I don’t want to spoil the surprise. And two, I haven’t written it yet and I may surprise myself along the way. Shit. Maybe I’ll kill both of them. How’s that for a giant middle finger to romance?

After all, the books isn’t called No Escape from the Planet Healthy Relationship.

That Late Night Perspective

Posted: November 23, 2011 in Uncategorized
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This tree, visible from my window, had been daring me to photograph it for days...

I am occasionally reminded that I truly am my father’s son.

My dad was a complex amalgam of a lot of influences and a lot of labels. We acquire these things as we go through life. Sometimes they define us. Sometimes we let them limit us. Stick a pin in that idea, because we’ll be back to it.

My dad was, among all else, a philosopher. It was what he got his undergraduate degree in. He was, more specifically, an existentialist with a strong interest in Sartre. I can feel your eyes glazing over, but don’t worry. This is a means to an end. This is just a way to discuss perspective.

In a nutshell (and a grossly oversimplified one at that) existentialism says that the individual is solely responsible for giving their life meaning. It is largely about freedom, and being able to find your own truth to live your life passionately and sincerely. I fully expect a philosophical beat-down over that definition, so I encourage you to go to your library (i.e. Wikipedia) to learn more at your leisure.

So here we are. The responsibility of the individual to figure their own shit out. Why is that important? Take something as simple as a tree growing in a park. Two people, standing side by side looking at the tree will not see it in the same way. In essence, they are looking at two different trees. This is because of perspective–both external and internal.

The external one is the easiest to explain. From even a slightly different angle, the light, the shadow, the line of sight, will vary from person to person. Both will see it as a tree, of course. This isn’t a magic show we’re doing here. But this is about more than a tree. This is about your life, so let’s look deeper.

There we find the internal perspective. This is where we go back to that pin we placed earlier. An old man may see the tree as something that grew from a sapling he planted, while a father in his middle years might see it as something he’ll have to rake up after come fall, and a child will see it as a thing to climb. Same tree, but at the same time, very different. I have a very different reaction seeing a maple tree blaze red in the autumn (as evidenced by my photo up top) because we didn’t have those where I grew up. To me, they remind me of my new life here in Seattle, while someone who grew up in Vermont might think of home in the same way an Aspen tree makes me think of home.

Now it isn’t a tree we’re looking at any more. It’s our entire life. It’s the meaning to our entire life. No one has the same perspective on it as you do. So why should you let them define it?

So why is any of this important? Two thoughts, and both a matter of perspective.

One is a lesson. We are bombarded by news constantly in this culture. A good friend who’s opinion I value, had a different perspective on the recent incident at UC Davis. While we were both angered at what happened, we were of two minds on the matter of the responsibilities of the witnesses. Neither of us was Right in an empirical sense of the word. Neither were we Wrong. Because Right and Wrong are ultimately labels, human constructs, moral judgments built on a shifting terrain. (As an aside, being ten and having an argument with your father about Good and Evil and being told that the words don’t actually mean anything will ultimately fuck a kid up in the long run. Case in point.)

What is right is a matter of perspective, filtered through our upbringing and our own life experiences. The take away from this is that it’s real goddamned easy to take the stance of “I’m right and you’re an idiot” without considering that the other person might have a very good reason for disagreeing with you that you never considered because, at the end of the day, he isn’t you. So try and avoid a dogmatic stand if you can. Be open to being wrong, and listening to other people rather than drawing a line in the sand.

Secondly, it’s late where I am. I’m tired. It’s raining heavily, with big fat drops spattering against the window less than three feet from me. And it makes me introspective.

I recognize that who I am, where I am in my life, and what that all means is entirely a matter of perspective. Some people think I really have my shit together, and I don’t know where they get that impression from. Some might think I have a lonely, hermit lifestyle, while others might think I’m a carefree social butterfly. By some people’s standards I’m a failure in a lot of areas, but on some metrics, that’s the exact opposite.

Here is what I know. I am solely responsible for giving my life meaning. For me, at least right now, that means writing, publishing, and helping the people close to me realize their own life’s meaning. It isn’t all there is to life, and I know that, but for right now it makes me happy. I just need to remind myself of that. When I am in the Now, I am at peace.

And that’s a great place to be…

…whether you believe in existentialism or not.

Fan Letter Sunday: Hannah Strom-Martin

Posted: November 13, 2011 in Short Fiction
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Courtesy of Post Secret

“The tango never stops in Buenos Aires. It goes on and on and we all dance to it in our time, helplessly drawn when fate initiates the cabezazo.” — from “Father Pena’s Last Dance,” Hannah Strom-Martin

Inspired by irrepressible Christine Yant, I have decided to adopt Fan Letter Sunday. And it’s largely because of this story, “Father Pena’s Last Dance” in Realms of Fantasy, August 2010, that I’m doing so.

See, I’ve reviewed books, movies, comic books, even bands–it’s how I share my love for what they’re doing. It’s my way to champion the things I enjoy and encourage more people to experience them. But I don’t really review short stories that appear in individual magazines. I don’t know why. Maybe I need to change that. Part of that might be because I went through a long period where I wasn’t reading short fiction in magazines or online, just anthologies. That changed when I made the decision to subscribe to a few spec-fic magazines for a variety of reasons.

That’s how I was introduced to Hannah Strom-Martin and Father Pena.

If I had come across the story in any other way and heard the words “vampire” or “Tango,” I probably would have just passed it over. And my life would be much poorer for that decision. I don’t care for vampire stories as a general rule. It seems like so much of what I come across is the same series of tired, recycled tropes trotted out one more time, like Halloween decorations a decade past their prime.

But “Father Pena’s Last Dance” is a revelation. Not only does it capture the magic, mystery, and music of Buenos Aires, it reinvents vampires in a way I never could have seen coming. And it made me want to learn Tango. The way you tied the vampires to passion, and through that, dance, was truly inspired. It has an amazing noir feel, a tragic inevitability, and at the same time it is undeniably sensual in a way I find most noir lacks. The day after reading, I was recommending it to anyone I could think of. Over a year later, and I still can’t shake just how much I loved the way this story came alive, shook me, and forced me to look at long-considered myths in new ways.

Thank you, Hannah, for “Father Pena’s Last Dance.” Sorry it has taken me over a year to tell you how much I loved the story. And I hope that, somehow, this fan letter reaches you.

For those of you who have yet to read this story, I encourage you to do so. You can currently buy a PDF of the August 2010 issue for $3.99 at www.rofmag.com and it’s well worth it. You’ll likely enjoy a few of the other articles and stories there as well.

NaNoWriMo Essentials: The Cast List

Posted: October 30, 2011 in Novels
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Tiberius Kane is coming for you, punk.


This is probably important to clarify. When writing sci-fi, it’s a really good idea to do heavy background not just on your characters, but on the alien species they might be involved with. I’m writing sci-fi where there are no true “humans.” With a five person ensemble cast and twin protagonists, that’s a lot of species to sort out.

Thankfully, I’m writing in someone else’s universe, so a lot of the heavy lifting has been done already. For those of you plugged into the RPG scene, No Escape from Planet Motherfucker is set within the universe presented within the Bulldogs! RPG, published by Galileo Games. (As a side-note, this setting has a special place in my heart, and if you’re a gamer who likes action-based sci-fi, you really owe it to yourself to check it out.)

I’m keeping the bad guys under wraps, but let’s take a look at the crew of The Fallen Star!

Tiberius Kane, aka Kamanch Vaan, former Templari officer, court-martialed and barely escaped execution, and considered by some to be the most dangerous man in the galaxy. He is possessed of steely resolve. He does not go out of his way looking for trouble, but if provoked, he will burn your mother’s home down to the foundations with terrifying calm to make a point. His vengeance is not a good thing to court. Physically, he’s humanoid, incredibly fit, with deep purple skin and pointed ears. The Templari are totalitarian and xenophobic to the extreme, but Kane has removed himself from that and is choosing his own path. While the species is hairless, he has a fiber-optic goatee that can light up and shift colors to reflect his mood. The goatee gives me a fun hook, as well as the chance to add a weird-tech element to the story.

Anibell, former nanny-bot/bodyguard (Model M-6 INCU-B8), current pilot. Teutonic, with utility-womb and click-out halberd. Laser-etched tattoo in scrolling font on upper left arm that reads “Lucky.” She has core “nurturing” programming still embedded in her personality matrix, but since going AI 3 years earlier, she has swapped out more domestic skill programming for piloting, and close-combat skills.

Roxy Twist, navigator and communication officer, and a quite proficient sniper. She is a Ken Reeg, with mid-thigh length synth leather hoodie with smart fabric upgrade. She has the green skin, lack of need for any sleep, skill with numbers, and moral flexibility her species is known for. She presents to the outside world as a hard-shell of sarcastic competence, but she has found a messed up and dysfunctional home to call her own on the Fallen Star, and she wants to protect that. Her idea of a fair fight is one that she can end from half a mile away with a single squeeze of her finger.

Baltus, a Dolom philosopher turned cargo loader/gunner, also wanted mass murderer on his home planet after he killed 6 people following a dissertation turned bad. Like all other Dolom, he is a gentle giant, over 8′ in height, with trilateral symmetry (three legs, arms, eyes). He’s gregarious, and a bit prone to drink. But he can’t escape his past, and he’s stopped trying.

“He killed six people following the rejection of his philosophical dissertation–one of them with his bare hands.” Roxy said with a crooked smile.
Baltus didn’t look up from wiping down the turret controls and barely shrugged his shoulders. “Fit of passion.”
“Two more were bludgeoned to death with a chair,” she continued.
“Self defense.”
“The next two, run down in his vehicle while he was fleeing the scene.”
Baltus put down the rag with a sigh. He looked up at Anibell with regret heavy on his three-eyed face. “That was unfortunate accident.”
“And number six,” Roxy said, her smile widening with unrestrained glee, “was with an improvised incendiary device.”
The regret was gone, the eyes narrowed and darkened in an instant. “He knew what he did.”

Quarthill is where I get truly alien, and where I take free reign creating my own species. The engineer, he is a ball of color-shifting tentacles like a sea anemone on acid. He is contained in a fishbowl mounted to a mobile platform that can click into several different chassis for different tasks. A bit aspie, very alien intelligence, he has on concept of there being anyone else like him in the galaxy. For him, family is the people who live in his home with him, making the crew his family. Not that he seems to have much thoughts on family with his constant tinkering with the ship.

Finally, the most important character, The Fallen Star itself. Class-D cargo ships are, by very definition, floating wrecks. The Fallen Star is no exception. It is a split level ship, with cargo on the lower level, crew quarters above, and an engineering area that spans both. There is a ball turret in the cargo area that has not worked in long enough that the door is welded shut. Main armament is the roof turret, followed by a small point defense gun mounted over the cargo door and controlled from the cabin. Quarters are shared bunks, with the exception of the captain’s quarters which include sleeping and office spaces. There are three stations on the bridge, but both navigation and communication are close enough that Roxy can man both from the same seat. The pilot’s seat is low in the nose of the cabin. A final chair is present for the captain, but it has no ship functions associated with it. An attempt to refinish the interior of the ship resulted in weird wood accents and trim in the public spaces that are moldering in places. Internal electrical systems are always one fuse away from total collapse, and there’s a mystery buzzing noise in the galley area that ensures no one uses it for long.

NaNoWriMo Essentials: The Soundtrack

Posted: October 29, 2011 in Music, Novels
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Tiberius Kane is coming for you, punk.

I bet you thought I’d say outline or something, right?

Don’t get me wrong. An outline is crucial, as is a good cast list. The cast list is not as descriptive as I would like, but I’ll flesh it out a bit later. And I just finished my outline this morning. It’s 1,700 words and 4 pages long. Not bad for a 23 chapter novel. I’ll tease bits of that out over the next two days leading up to kickoff.

But today is something that I find helps getting those other elements in place: the soundtrack. In specific, a 5 1/2 hour playlist saved down onto my iPod that I can pipe through my home system while I write or set the mood as I’m on the way home to write on the bus.

Like in a movie, a good soundtrack should convey a sense of energy to every scene. My soundtracks aren’t a specific “Oh, this is for chapter 11″ kind of deal. (Although the “trial” in my novel is entirely thanks to Saliva’s “Ladies and Gentlemen” which is featured in the soundtrack.) A soundtrack is meant to inform the tone, the energy, the spirit of what I’m about to write. And thankfully, I’m a slut for music. I have sounds from all across the spectrum, so it’s like cooking with a full spice cabinet and a clear sense of what each element brings to the dish.

I started with a core of Coheed and Cambria. Six songs, in particular, across several albums. “Here we Are Juggernaut” from their latest, Year of the Black Rainbow just finished playing, and now I have “Blood Red Summer” off their second album. So, why Coheed? First off, this is going to be an aggressive, action-centered novel, and Coheed delivers on volume. Plus, I’m writing sci-fi, and they dedicated four albums to a heavy prog-rock concept sci-fi epic, so that’s a good thematic fit. Finally, the tunes I picked have a good hook, so they get set into the brain.

In keeping with that loud, fast and out-of-control theme, I added a few metal standards. Megadeath’s “Symphony of Destruction” and AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill” captured the mood quite well. I also filled heavily with New Model Army, one of my perennial favorites who can always be counted on for barely-contained rage and rolling thunder.

Adding other flavors to the mix, I considered our hero, Tiberius Kane, one of the most dangerous men in the galaxy. He’s from a xenophobic, “pure blood” race that has a real superiority complex. Everyone hates his people. Even him. He’s an outcast from his own race, a bit of a traitor, and oppressed on every side. For some reason, this inspired a heavy dose of political soul, which blends nicely with the Norther Soul influenced rhythm section of New Model Army. This was a healthy mix of flavors: Gil Scott-Heron, John Legend & The Roots, Marvin Gaye, and others.

But there were some quiet moments, moments for contemplation. I have two versions of “Wild Is The Wind” in there–one from David Bowie, one from Nina Simone. I also have a bit of Barry White to smooth some things out.

Finally, I added just a dash of opera to bring in the opulence of the Vox twins, the two villains of the novel. In specific, I chose a track from La Boheme.

The total mix came in at around 65% loud, 34% smooth, 1% “bonus weird.” I’ve been listening to it for a few days and already I can feel the novel pulsing to life. I can easily listen to this 5.5 hours on replay shuffle over the next month. And that’s important. A soundtrack that speaks to the novel, but not to you, that in fact, makes you want to swallow your own tongue? That does no one any good.

NaNo Prep 2011

Posted: October 28, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Cthulhu Abides. Green Arrow pint glass is optional.

With only a few days left before November’s noveling insanity begins, how does a seasoned veteran of the NaNo trenches prepare?

Here’s a glimpse behind the curtain.

  • Cast list and outline: November takes no prisoners, and it’s no time to plot, so I get that all done before hand. Keeps me from getting lost in the snow and eaten by wolves.
  • Create a soundtrack: This is background music to put me in the right headspace. Ideally, I have the playlist on a portable device that I can link to the home system so I can get in the zone at home or on the road.
  • Stock in supplies: You know what sucks when you have a few thousand words to write? Having to get groceries to feed yourself. I make sure I have plenty of coffee, creamer, booze, brown rice, a rainbow of dried legumes for the crock pot, frozen fish, frozen vegies, and a few convenience items before November hits.
  • A Viking Funeral: Or less melodramatically, one good night with friends and family with a good labor-intensive meal. Because those are going to be few and far between in November.
  • Line up writing events: The forums are great to help find write-ins and other writing-like events in your area. Suffering is done better in groups.
  • Line up any remaining vacation days: Arrange some time in advance where you might be able to catch up or take a breather if you need one. I think of little one-day vacations as rest stops on the way to the novel.

Now you know!

Ed. And thanks to the ever-astute Adam Israel for pointing out that I originally dated this post for 2012. While November is no time for editing, I’m making an exception because it’s still October. Sheesh.

Back from the nearly dead

Posted: October 27, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Tiberius Kane is coming for you, punk.

It’s been, hell, I don’t even want to think about how long it’s been. What am I working on? Shit. Pull up a chair. This will take a while. Grab a beer while you’re at it. And fetch one for me too. You don’t drink Miller High Life? It’s the champagne of beers! Says so right on the can! The girl in the moon would not lie to you! Anyway, this is hardly the Ritz-Carlton, fucko. Drink water, then. I keep it in the tap. Saves on space.

So you no doubt are wondering about that totally amazing piece of art to the right with the shit MS Paint text slapped over it. Don’t try that at home, kids. The art is from the obscenely talented Jean Sebastien Rossbach and maybe someday our paths will cross and we’ll work on something together. This is not it. This is me doing a quick cover mockup for the novel I’m going to be writing in November.

Wait, a novel in November…are you one of those *shudder* NaNoWriMo people? Isn’t that, like a cult or something? One, yes, and I’ve been doing it most years since 2005 and have “won” most of those years. Two, blow me. NaNoWiMo, or National Novel Writing Month to the initiates…I mean, um, people who haven’t heard of it, is a weird little phenomenon.

For all those people who say, “Writing a book isn’t that hard. I could write a book!” I present NaNoWriMo. Because it’s incredibly hard. But anybody CAN write a book. I sincerely believe that everyone SHOULD write a book at least once in their life. I think everyone has at least one story in them somewhere, and they only need some way to get it out.

Now writing a good book, like doing anything well, requires some combination of skill and practice and, some would argue, inspiration. And NaNo won’t teach anyone how to write a good book, exactly. But as a long-time piano player, I liken it to doing scales. NaNo is great training on how to handle your shit, how to set schedules and priorities, to increase your speed and efficiency when you find the time to write. And sometimes you’ll even get great sections out of your book. You might even get a whole, gosh darn good book. But honestly, don’t expect it. Because that’s not what it’s about. People who finish the Boston Marathon aren’t graded on a curve for form. They finish, they get celebrated.

So yes, I’m going NaNo this year. I’m writing a hard-boiled sci-fi story called No Escape from Planet Motherfucker, which was described in a twitter conversation earlier today as John Carpenter directing a Quentin Tarantino script. Put the somewhat desperate, violent crew of a low-end cargo ship on a planet where their two tickets off-planet are taken from them–the captain who has been arrested for war crimes, and the pilot who was arrested on a whim to serve the sadistic ruler. The captain has to defend himself in a series of increasingly brutal gladiator games while the crew looks for escape from a planet where the lucky die fast. It’s going to be bloody mayhem. I can hardly wait.

In the rear-view (and side) mirror, we have the very busy world of Timid Pirate Publishing. We had a perfect storm of plague and technical issues that forced the first significant delay we’ve ever had as a company. Even now, we’re trying to clear one final hurdle with Cobalt City Dark Carnival, a book that we planned to have out a month ago. Frustrating does not do it justice. I want to build a time machine and slap everyone involved with Adobe software to the fourth generation. What’s even worse is that I love this book. The stories are excellent! Plus, we mark the fiction debut of a few authors in this volume, and I love introducing new authors to the world! But it’s just one more hurdle. That’s what the stress ball and pink elephants tell me. The journey is almost over. Then I’ll be pushing it like earplugs at a Clutch show.

Also coming up, the outstanding Finding Home: Community in Apocalyptic Worlds is coming out in time for Christmas. Timid Pirate’s outstanding Editor in Chief Caroline Dombrowski has put together a stellar selection of stories from international authors, most of whom I’m thrilled to be working with for the first time. If you want a different, more hopeful take on the end of the world and what comes after, you NEED to check this book out when it’s released. If you don’t, I’ll tell the Differently-Abled Owl Bears where you live. (And before you flip out about the owl bear thing, I’m referring to a pair of pewter owl bear D&D minis owned by a friend which have sadly lost their arms. Don’t panic. They’ve been given a good home and meaningful employment.)

Oh, and for audio drama fans, the next Cobalt City Adventures Unlimited podcast script is turned in and has started with recording. Expect new episodes soon. I can’t say when. Spend this time introducing friends and family members to the award winning audio drama tales of Cobalt City’s super-heroes–the first two stories are complete and ready for listening now. We even have readings from some of our favorite stories from this year’s Growing Dread anthology–a perfect Holiday gift for the biology-inclined. And Talking with the producer soon to find out exactly when they’ll air. And I’m already looking to get things rolling for next year’s podcasts by bringing in a stable of talented writers to keep the adventures flowing through 2012.

And that’s not even mentioning the stuff I can’t talk about.

National Novel Writing Month is crazy for most people. The coming month is actually going to be relaxing for me. Like a spa.

Happy Diwali and Happy Halloween if I don’t talk to you before then!

Oh, and recycle that Miller can on your way out. Thanks!

Adaptive Mythology and the Book of Mormon Musical

Posted: October 7, 2011 in Music, Random Geekery
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I love musicals, and while Avenue Q isn’t my favorite musical of all time, it’s certainly in the top ten. Additionally, I loved South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut because it was clear to me that it was, at its heart, a high-concept musical as well. And I still find both as funny as hell. So knowing that the creative forces behind both projects were creating a musical together…well, let’s just say that the Book of Mormon was on my radar.

Then I heard the original cast recording streamed on NPR. I bought it first chance I got, and fell in love. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized what it was I loved so much about this show. Sure, the music is catch and funny. And yes, it’s an affirmation of the power of faith—any faith—in our lives. No, what real hit home for was the power of Adaptive Mythology.

Fair warning: there will be some minor spoilers and a language that would make a sailor blush if you continue. Everyone still here? Good. Let’s get going!

At its heart, The Book of Mormon is about how one mythology (the foundation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) is brought to a place and a people where the message just isn’t relevant to their ordinary lives. If you’re unfamiliar with the tale, the first song in our lesson will condense the history of the religion down.

The problem is, the people who are being taught this history have no context. They live in a war torn region of Uganda, fraught with violence, disease, famine, and AIDS. They have bigger problems to deal with. Elder Cunningham grasps desperately for ways to connect the message to the audience, adapting the tale to reflect their conditions—to hilarious effect.

The result is a great example of Adaptive Mythology. The fundamental point of the message remains the same, but the way that people are led to that truth has become more intuitive, better suited to their frame of reference. Our final musical cue presents the new interpretation of the original song from this perspective.

This is the hook for me, because this is the power of storytelling. They say there are only so many original plots, and that’s true. But how those plots are interpreted is what makes them stories. Finding the plot/story/mythology that connects to you is a powerful thing. And as a writer, it’s a powerful tool to learn to use properly. Remember that you aren’t just telling a plot—you’re connecting your reader to something bigger. Find a way to make that connection happen by grounding your story in real human experience. And if you do it right, if you do it well, you’ll reap the rewards.

Fringe Candy: The Seasonal treat of Harvest Mix

Posted: October 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Like a handful of Autumn

Ah, the eternal question: Candy Corn–seasonal decoration or confection? That’s the problem with a candy when they lose their novelty, I suppose. Candy Corn and it’s larger food group of Harvest Mix has been around for a while after all. We’ve just kind of used to seeing it around the holidays and don’t give it a second thought except to possibly mock it.

And there’s a lot to mock, really. For one, it looks as much like real corn as a Valentine’s Day heart looks like an actual heart, which is to say not at all. And it isn’t flavored. The recipe and cooking process probably hasn’t changed substantially since the 1880′s. And yeah, Chuckles, candy corn and it’s inbred cousins of indian corn and Mellowcreme Pumpkins have been around for a long goddamned time. And for a long time, they were really the only Halloween-centric candy, which says a lot for a holiday that’s been all about candy and setting pumpkins on fire for at least 60 years.

There really isn’t much to Harvest Mix, including fat, which is a selling point for some people. Then again, candies like this which are made almost entirely of sugar, corn syrup, color additives, and bindings (not wax, no matter how these things might taste), don’t HAVE fat. For that you need candies made with chocolate, peanuts, maybe some dairy. No, this little Halloween handful is completely fat free!

But you’re not off the hook. That little pumpkin will set you back 25 calories. Yep. 25. For one second of sugary bliss. And you know you’re going to eat that whole bag in a day or two, probably while you’re distractedly watching Huey Lewis and the News videos on Youtube wondering where your youth went.

So if you really must indulge in the colorful glory that is the Harvest Mix, portion control is your friend. The fact that these candies don’t have any real flavor other than “sweet” makes it easy to not pay attention. So get a small bowl. REALLY small. Something like a demitasse cup which is about 4 oz. is perfect.

And even if you don’t enjoy them for anything more than making fake vampire fangs or decorating cupcakes, now you know a bit about their history. And at least they’re not those damned little boxes of raisins my mom used to give out every year. And she wondered why I routinely got bullied at school…

An open letter to Scott Lobdell

Posted: September 24, 2011 in Random Geekery
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My dressing up as an alien monster days are far behind me.


I’ll be up front with you Scott. I’m a comic fan, and I tend to follow authors. While I can’t say with any certainty that I’ve started reading a book you were attached to simply because you were writing, I have taken notice and really enjoyed some of your work. Wildcats Vol. 3 springs immediately to mind, as does Generation X.

I don’t know if you’ve been following the internet buzz lately, but it seems that people are up in arms about your new series, Red Hood and the Outlaws. In particular, they’ve taken some issue with your depiction of Starfire. Now, I’m not here to shake my fist angrily, but I would like a moment of your time, if you have it so spare.

Yes?

Good. Sit down.

See, I loved the Teen Titans as a kid. Most fans have an issue or a story line that turned them into life-long fans of comic books, and for me it was the “Judas Contract.” So me and Kori go back a long way. She’s always been a bit sexualized and her attitude towards it has never quite conformed to societal norms. I get that. For fucksake, she spent the 80′s fighting crime in a costume that was essentially metal dental floss. And I’ve got good friends who have lived happily for years with very sexually open relationships, so I can’t exactly judge her on that, either.

So while I get the people angrily calling for a boycott of Red Hood because of her portrayal as a hyper-stylized fuck-bunny, I can also see where this is coming from. That said, I was prepared to not read the book, despite being initially thrilled by the concept and preview art I’d seen.

But I had already placed it on my pull list at the local comic shop, so it was in the bag when I picked up my comics today. And I’m not one to make uninformed decisions if I can help it.

So I read Red Hood and the Outlaws. And I’ll be honest. I enjoyed it. I love the art, the hooks placed for future issues, the sense of mystery, the dialogue, pretty much the whole book. But–and you know there had to be a but otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this–I sincerely hope that you move away from blissfully indiscriminate with a libido that goes to 11. I would like to think Let’s not forget that she was also a a fearsome warrior as well.

I’m leaving Red Hood and the Outlaws on my list. I’ll even go so far as to take a look at Superboy because Fairchild is in it and apparently not as the playfully fetishized wank material she was drawn as in Gen-13. And of course I’ll have to pick up Teen Titans for nostalgic reasons, and because of the new gay Hispanic character you’re introducing there. I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re going somewhere with Starfire. And I’m willing to bet that even if you weren’t the outrage you’ve heard might course-correct her arc a bit.

I’ll be watching.

Thanks for your time.

Don’t let us down.

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