Archive for the ‘Short Fiction’ Category

Courtesy of Post SecretI’d like to start by saying I know some weird, weird people. A challenge of sorts was laid down on Twitter earlier today by Twitternaut Georg Greg that read, “ALCOHOL – because no great story or song ever started with someone eating a salad.” Before I knew it, people were rising to the challenge. But it took one of my favorite troublemakers, Brooke Bolander to birth a genre out of it.

But there is only so much you can do with 140 characters on Twitter. So, I’m making this a real challenge. Here we go folks. The Bitter Greens – Salad Noir gauntlet has been thrown down.

Details: I’m looking for flash fiction pieces, with a hard (and totally arbitrary) word count limit of 700 words. The theme is “Salad Noir,” and salads have to be part of the first paragraph. Deadline is June 21st, just in time for the Summer Solstice. I’ll pick two stories and publish them online here in time for the 4th of July. The first place story gets $10 and I’ll award $5 for the runner up.

Submit via email in standard manuscript format as an attachment to bebopdiablo@gmail.com with the subject line of “SALAD NOIR” followed by your last name.

Yes, I know some weird, weird people. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now, get writing!

Authorial Essentials

Authorial Essentials

It’s a question that comes up after a certain amount of time in the writing experience. “As an author, how do you handle rejection?”
Drinking.
I suggest tea to calm the mind, or maybe some coffee to fuel the inevitable rewrite. If you prefer a beer and a shot of Wild Turkey while you kick yourself for your failure, that’s your prerogative.
We all talk about it. I think it’s a strong motivation to form writing groups. In many ways, success or failure has less to do with talent than it does with tenacity. Because no matter how polished your prose, how witty your dialogue, how insightful your exposition, you are going to be faced at some point with a letter or email saying “Sorry, but your piece doesn’t fit our needs at this time.” There aren’t a lot of guarantees in this business, kid, but that’s one of them. Your future as a writer hinges in no small part on learning to accept and move through rejections.

A writing group is a great start. Think of it as group counselling. A good writing group is a support system that has few equals, because like all good group counselling, you’re in the company of people who’ve been there. It’s too easy to doubt yourself when you’re isolated. But when you’re sitting across a coffeehouse table from four other people who also just had their genuinely great short story turned away from yet another market, it takes the sting out.

But caffeine abuse with friends won’t get you in the pages of Asimov’s.

The rejection of a story from any market tells you two things in varying degrees. One, that while it might be a good story, it wasn’t a good fit for the editors of that market at that time. And two, maybe your perfect little gem needs another look.

Hurts, doesn’t it?

The truth is, no matter how much work you put into it, no matter how much you love it, there’s a damn good chance that your story isn’t perfect. And you know what? That’s okay. Art is subjective, so no one is going to have that same idea of what perfection means. The danger lies in complacency. You want your story to be good. Like, GOOD! But too often I feel newer authors stop revising at good ENOUGH.

Writing is an acquired skill. It’s something that develops the more we do it. I have stories I wrote six years ago that I loved at the time and I would now be embarrassed to see published. Not that I could get them published in their current state. Yes, they were likely the best representation of my skills as a writer at the time, but I’ve been working at this penmonkey crap for years, and I’m better than I was. Practice does that.

Every time you send a story out, it should be as polished as you can make it.

And if it gets rejected, give it another critical look. Treat the rejection as a chance to revise and really LOOK at it. Read it out loud to yourself. Read it backwards, one paragraph at a time starting from the end. Your changes might be small. Maybe you over-used a word. Maybe there’s a sensory detail that you could stand to add. Maybe you have a long sentence that makes for better pacing as two short sentences. Or maybe you can stand to cut that first thousand words and condense them into a sentence or two later in the story.

If you can’t change a word, then congratulations! You’ve written a perfect story. Or, at least as perfect of a story as you can write at that point in your career. So find another market and send that baby back out into the world.

And if it comes back again?

Look at it again.

Refuse to settle for “good enough.”

*Ok, a bit of a disclaimer here. If you’re under the gun for a submission deadline and you have the choice of sending it in as “good enough” or not submitting at all, there’s some wiggle-room here. If you are happy enough with the story that you can see it being published in its current form, and maybe pointing friends, agents, and editors to it, then pull that trigger. Sometimes “good enough” is just that, and you can sell the story and make the necessary fixes before print. But don’t submit a crap story (or one that doesn’t meet the submission call) just for the sake of submitting. 

The key here is not only to keep revising, but keep submitting. Don’t fall into that trap of reworking and reworking and reworking the same story until it’s flawless as an excuse to not send it out.

Don’t let rejection spook you. Don’t give it that much power over you.

As Wayne Gretzky says, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

He should know. He’s the Great One after all.

On that note, I have a novel to fix. Time to put on a pot of coffee.

Taksara abides

Taksara abides

This week saw the release of Blood Rites: An Invitation to Horror from the most excellent horror publisher Blood Bound Books (Available in both print and ebook format although I’ve only linked to the Kindle). This is not my first publication with them. No, that would be Rock ‘N’ Roll is Dead which I’ve written about previously.

When it came time to send something to them for consideration for the new anthology, I really didn’t know what to send. I had been trying to write something brand new, but it was stuck. Meanwhile, other recent horror stories had all sold to other markets. And that left me with an earlier story simply called “The Lake” which was…unsettling.

One approach for writing horror is to have the hero confront some sort of monster, some evil, some…thing! And since it’s horror and not fantasy, the hero suffers greatly in the process. In some horror, the result is that by confronting the monstrous, the hero themselves becomes a monster, becoming either an extension of the original horror or a different, perhaps greater monster than what they were facing. And for me, that tends to be more terrifying. An excellent example for me is the movie Straw Dogs. (If you haven’t seen it, it’s a masterpiece and a movie that, once seen, I’ll never watch again. Brutal. Just brutal.)

It’s possible this kind of horror is all the more terrifying because we see it all the time in the real world.

I wrote the initial draft of “The Lake” when I was sifting through the crumbling remains of a marriage that had fallen apart. The story showed a couple that chose to try and move on from a personal tragedy rather than throw in the towel. Added to this, I had a powerful nightmare that involved swimming in a lake, and I couldn’t shake it for anything once I woke up. These elements combined to make for a story that was a bit too close to the bone for me. A story of loss, and false hopes, and something ancient and hungry hiding beneath the surface.

When I realized I didn’t have anything else to send, I went back to “The Lake” and tore it apart with the cold dispassion of having moved past the emotions that inspired the story. When I put it back together, it was less personal. It was something leaner. Meaner. And I almost didn’t send it in. The last time I had a story I was reluctant to submit, it was “Fishwives of Sean Brolly,” and there are some fascinating parallels to the story. Both involve a marriage in crisis and a dangerous, submerged temptation.

And, of course, death and horror.

The location for what became “Cold Comfort of Silver Lake” is in many ways inspired by growing up in Colorado’s silver country. With quaint old mining towns like Ouray, Telluride, Silverton, and Creede now turning into expensive and quiet places to retire, they aren’t the kind of locations you would expect to inspire horror. We weren’t all lucky enough to grow up in Maine. I grew up in a town like that, perched on the apron between mountain and high desert. It was a town built around a smelter for the mines higher in the mountains–silver at first, then uranium as the industry changed. When I was in high school, the smelter was demolished, and the giant hill of radioactive tailings next to it–and next to the river–was shipped off and buried somewhere. Somehow, I grew up in a town where a giant radioactive hill cast a shadow over downtown for most of my childhood without thinking about it. That same radioactive dirt had been used as fill for foundations all over town…even under the public swimming pool.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had pets that died of cancer. I don’t know how common that is. Growing up, we lost three pets to it. Maybe it was a fluke. Or maybe there was a hidden darkness in that town…something you just didn’t talk about, hoping that it wouldn’t hear you and pass by for someone further down the line.

That’s horror. The buried darkness. The hidden danger, lurking there, waiting.

Like a little personal tragedy between a married couple that they can’t put behind them but won’t talk about.

Like whatever is waiting in the bottom of Silver Lake.

I encourage you to take a look for yourself. Blood Rites: An Invitation to Horror includes 23 deliciously dark stories by Brian Lumley, Joe McKinney, Lisa Morton, Daniel O’Connor, Jeff Strand, John McNee, K. Trap Jones, Maria Alexander, Ed Kurtz, and many others. And it’s available wherever books are sold. (Really! Go special order it from your favorite small bookstore!)

Courtesy of Post SecretIt’s the end of year and it seems everyone is putting together a year-end retrospective. And why not? I suppose the end of the year is as good a time as any to reflect on what has come before and where things are headed now.

I had anticipated the year to be focused on the business side of novel work–the editing, rewriting, shopping it around. While that took a big chunk of my head-space this year, I’ll admit, I was unprepared how much waiting was involved in the process. So much waiting. 2012 has taught me patience, and how to distract myself with projects I can make progress on instead of obsessing over things I cannot control.

As a small publisher, I got to see the culmination of some long-in-works projects: the Cobalt City Double Feature and the Cobalt City Rookies e-books featuring five authors deserving of a much larger readership. I love all five of the novellas that we published, as have everyone I know who has read them. 2012 has taught me that publishing great stories isn’t enough, and that successful marketing is everything. (Hey, they’re available on Kindle and Nook also at the appropriate stores! Stock up your e-reader now!)

Carefully managing my queue of short fiction looking for a good home, I started actively sending out submissions again. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my friend and fellow author Dawn Vogel who cracked the whip on submissions, because I doubt I would have placed quite so many stories this year without her. Halfway through the year, I was averaging a story a month, which for me felt kind of huge. It slowed down, mind you. Stories got picked up and I wasn’t writing enough new ones, and even most of those that I did finish in 2012 were placed. Unless my math fails me, I found homes for seven stories. This includes a few somewhat darker, stranger, pieces that I had almost given up hope on. My India-flavored fantasy piece, in fact, my only pure fantasy piece of the year came out in November in Sword & Sorceress 27, and my moody story of a crumbling marriage and an unusual lake comes out in just under a month in Blood Rites. And then I culled the list, retiring anything over five years old to the drawer. 2012 taught me that if you keep working at it, you get better at it, and while the ideas of half-decade-ago might still be good, some stories should be redone from scratch rather than “brushed up.”

It has also been a good year for personal growth. I’m more at peace with my place in the world. I’m better able to find my Zen and work through problems. I’m a better diplomat, both at the day job and in my personal life. I’ve taken more time to enjoy the quiet moments of honest, quiet, one-on-one connection with close friends and that’s brought me a lot of peace. I’ve gotten better at separating my “needs” from my “wants” and have made smarter choices as a result. Despite a year that has included no small share of hardships and setbacks, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The last year has had so many moments that are nothing short of magical that I couldn’t list them if I tried. 2012 taught me that the more skin you put in the game, the greater the risks and the greater the reward.

Spiritually (yes, I went there), I’ve reaffirmed the value of certain core principles in my life: honesty, empathy, clear communication, compassion, and the value of a simple task done well. 2012 helped teach me how by to improve my own inner life and in turn make the lives of those around me a little better as well.

I look forward to what 2013 will bring. My current agenda already has a few things piling up: I need to start paying attention to the agent hunt again. I have a novel I started in November that I need to finish, and one from a few years back to edit. I have a few short stories I want to write, a few to polish and submit, and more ideas come to me all the time. I need to look at what we’re doing as a publisher this year–audio books are likely, more back catalog on e-book are all but certain, and more marketing is essential. I’m planning on a trip to Thailand sometime before my birthday to visit one of my best friends who will be there teaching, and who knows what kind of story ideas that will inspire. And finding out that three of my top five posts of this year were about candy, I guess I should really keep up on the Fringe Candy posting. Maybe even a new one to start out the year.

Bring it, 2013. I’m ready to eat you alive.

None Left Behind

Posted: December 11, 2012 in Short Fiction
Taksara abides

Taksara abides

Several years ago, I went to New Orleans for the first, and only, time. It was early in 2005, in the spring if I remember correctly. I was only there for about four days, but it was long enough for me to fall in love with the city. In August of that year, Hurricane Katrina hit. I’d seen hurricanes destroy places on the news before, but never somewhere I’d been, and that made it strangely personal. The hurricane and everything that followed stuck with me. I ended up writing three short stories inspired by New Orleans as a result. This one, “None Left Behind,” won the Hauntings writing competition at the Hugo House in 2007, and appeared online at Absent Willow Review two years later. It has been, pretty much since it’s inception, one of my favorite all time stories to read.

It’s an older story. I’m in the middle of trunking a lot of stories written around the same time, and the reprint market is not what it used to be. But the story, like the ghosts of New Orleans, refuse to go down quietly. So I decided I’d share it here, the way it was intended, in audio format. Maybe at some point I’ll do the same for the other two stories in my New Orleans cycle. Maybe then, they’ll let me rest.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m no audio podcast master. But occasional mic pops aside, it’s still a heck of a good ghost story. And with intro and outro music, under 12 minutes in length. Consider it my Christmas gift for you.

None Left Behind

Written and read and mixed (if you can call it that) by Nathan Crowder

The audio recording of “None Left Behind” is licensed under a Creative Commons

Creative Commons License

Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Creative Commons

Mixed in audacity 1.3.3

Intro and outro music is “Rainwater Blues” by John Constantakis and Drew Roberts. Music was found using the fantastic search function at Community Audio.

Two faces of Buddha.

*Amended after a bit of reflection and a few off-line conversations to help clarify. Thanks for your patience.*

 

I had the good fortune this morning to be feeling guilty over a long gap in blog posts while in the company of my friend and fellow writer Nicole Feldringer. She knows that I’m one of those wacky types who dares to write fiction from the perspective of someone far outside my own personal experience. And we got to talking about the  backlash around Cutlural Appropriation.

This isn’t a new topic. In fact, it’s been an ongoing discussion for some time. But just like any debate that has been going on for a long time, it gets complicated. And some people want to jump on the bandwagon because they see it as one more thing they can get irate over without doing their homework. On occasion, these are people from outside the culture who are offended on the part of the culture they feel is being appropriated–which is not to discount that sometimes they have a point, but it also reads as reactionary liberal white guilt at other times, and that muddles the discussion. And another part of that problem is a confusion or difficulty in separating appropriation from appreciation–which can be incredibly fine-grained.

While I can certainly acknowledge that there are many instances where incorporating “exotic” elements is handled poorly, that doesn’t mean that all instances are bad. And maybe, just maybe, hurling vitriol at anyone who wants to stretch the cultural boundaries of their fiction, or their personal lives, is doing everyone more harm than good.

For those new to the discussion here’s the gist in a VERY basic nutshell: Cultural Appropriation is borrowing an element from another culture without understanding, appreciating, or even acknowledging the original context. An example might a person with no Japanese heritage (or language skills or real interest in Japan itself) getting a tattoo that says “Peace” in Japanese characters because it looks cool. Or a sports team naming themselves the Redskins, Chiefs, Braves, Indians…by it’s definition, it’s not a good thing.

So yeah, I will be the first to admit it can be a problem. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen characters in books, TV, or movies that are little more than cultural set dressing–ethnic short-hand done poorly–the stoned Jamaican cab driver or the Japanese tourist with the 3 cameras around their neck. Often, if feels simply like the writer wants to add a bit of flavor, so they toss in a stereotype and call it good without thinking of the impact it has–how it reduces to a culture or group of people down to a handful of “character tags.”

And even the people who want to broaden the scope of their world with the best of intentions can make missteps. And here’s where I think we need to handle this discussion a little more delicately. Because there should be a distinction between someone fetishizing a culture and someone who genuinely wants to explore and work within one respectfully. Because one reduces with no context, and one shares and helps expand the context to other people. One is commercialization and one is growth.

Here’s a completely made up example. You added a wise old Navajo man because your story is set in northern New Mexico and you figured, hey, authenticity. The story needed a Yoda/Merlin figure, so why not someone relevant to the area and culture? And this character wasn’t just a background character. He was actually important to the story. But let’s say that for one reason or another, he was done badly–not reflecting or respective of the actual culture, perhaps.

There are a few ways to address this. Frustratingly, it seems that the prevailing wisdom is to roll up the newspaper and smack the author with charges of Cultural Appropriation. And yes, on some levels the charge is absolutely right. Anything shouted (in so far as one can shout on the internet) takes an ugly tone, like shouting “Liberal” at someone. Is being “Liberal” a bad thing? Objectively, no. It’s a label. Just like “Cultural Appropriation” is a label.

The people who feel their culture is being stolen from them and turned into a commodity have every right to be angry. *(My mistake for not making this clear earlier.) They have every right to call us on it.

But anthropologists recognize that this is how cultures connect, grow, and change. I said it wasn’t a new phenomenon, but I might have under-stated this. Cultural Appropriation has been going on since the first human civilzation interacted with the first different group of people. In the enormously popular game, Sid Meyer’s Civilization (yes, I went there. Deal with it!) this cultural interaction is a key. It keeps our own culture (and yes, the other culture as well) from stagnating. And stagnation is death. Nothing survives in a vacuum–not even cultures. That said, the exchange is rarely, if ever equal. It just isn’t.

Put down those rolled up newspapers. You heard me. Put em’ down. I have the chair leg of truth and I’m not afraid to use it.

But there are, by intention or accident, benefits from this exchange of culture. By being exposed to other people, other cultures, we learn about those people and cultures. We begin to see them as something other than alien. By being intrigued by our differences and looking closer, we learn instead about our similarities. And that ultimately brings us closer together as a people.

When done well, Cultural Appropriation introduces us to something outside our own experience. It makes us curious. It broadens our world. It keeps us from being a planet full of insular societies viewing everyone else with suspicion and fear.

And when we start shouting “WITCH!”–I mean “Cultural Appropriation”–it shuts down the dialogue. It’s like calling someone “Racist,” and putting them on the defensive rather than saying, “What you said sounded racist,” and making them think about it. It’s laying blame rather than educating. And it discourages those who want to be respectful, who want to write the Other, not because it’s cool or commercial (in fact, it’s widely considered to be counter to market trends, sadly), but because they see the value in diversity.

We can’t afford to shut down this dialogue. We really can’t. Because if we can’t talk about it and learn how to do this right, to get along on this damn planet and treat others with respect, then what’s the goddamned point?

Perhaps a better way of confronting this is to treat the dialogue itself with respect. Treat Cultural Appropriation as a dialogue–as a teachable moment. Do those whose culture is being plundered owe anyone this dialogue, or a patient explanation? Absolutely not. They have every right to be angry. And they don’t owe you an education. But the longer the discussion is avoided, the longer it will take for everyone to solve these problems.

If any of you want to open a dialogue on what it’s like to be someone who grew up a white in the American South-West, I’m here for you. And if you see something in my writing that I got wrong, I’d love to hear about it.

Because I have no intention of spending the rest of my life writing about white dudes living in the desert. I write what I know. I know people. I know character. And I have had a fascination with world cultures since I was a child. Blame my parents and my misspent youth growing up in a college library. I know there is more to the world, and I will keep searching, keep learning, and yes, keep writing. And I won’t always get it perfectly right, no matter how hard I try. But I do try to get better.

By way of example, I have two stories coming out in the next few months–one in Medieval Morocco with an Islamic protagonist and one in a mythical fantasy setting very reminiscent of India, with a female protagonist, no less. I encourage you to check them out.

And I encourage you as a writer not to be afraid to write the Other. Treat the subject with respect, an open eye, and be ready to listen to feedback.

But the people who have nothing to offer than shouting you down with  a label? Ask them to offer constructive criticism. And, again, they don’t OWE you that criticism. If they DO have something constructive to say, something other than “No!” learn from them if you can.

It can only make your writing better.

Theme Parking Lot

Posted: August 4, 2012 in Short Fiction

This tree, visible from my window, had been daring me to photograph it for days…

In my experience, a lot of English Lit teachers will talk about THEME like it’s this big hammer that the author uses to bludgeon a point home. I was always vaguely suspicious about that. For a while, I maintained that theme was something that people who didn’t write used to make sense out of things that they read.

So I called bullshit on it probably far more than was warranted.

Part of that, at least, was due to the fact that I rarely thought about theme as I was doing my own writing. Now, maybe I was doing it wrong. Some very good writing teachers (who are writers themselves) would say that’s the case.

I’ve come to realize that while I don’t always do it consciously, I do tend to gravitate towards certain themes. I like themes of social justice. I like themes of uncovering unpleasant truths.

And judging from the story I just finished, I also like exploring the theme of “Hiding who you are to satisfy the pre-conceptions of others will only end in tears.” I explored this previously in my story for Cthulhurotica, “Fishwives of Sean Brolly” where a mild-mannered husband starts to accept his true sexual desires. The moment where he declares that he is not a freak, and that he just knows what he likes, still resonates with me.

Not for any strong personal reasons, mind you.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

But it’s all part of a much greater theme of accepting truths, personal and otherwise, no matter the consequence. Hiding that truth can be devastating. A life spent lying to yourself corrodes the soul.

I was surprised when Amos, a friend and member of my writing group caught the similarity between Fishwives and this new story–surprised, because I hadn’t noticed it myself. The conclusion to the story changed from the original outline, and I’m not sure if it was an organic outgrowth of the story, or as a result of Amos pointing out the path underneath my feet. I didn’t go where I planned. Not exactly. I went somewhere darker.

I hear you asking, “Tell us about this new story, Nate!”

Well, while there several key elements I have to keep under wraps for now, I can tell you a little bit about my influences and why I was excited to write it.

You know, other than theme.

Have you ever been to Minneapolis? I haven’t, but I’ve been wanting to check it out for academic reasons for well over a decade. There was a time in my misspent youth when I was studying sociology. I know. Big shock, right? My fascination was (and still is to a great extent) the loss of public space in our country. Minneapolis, specifically their Skyway system, is a prime example of that.

Minneapolis has cold winters. Like, why-the-fuck-do-you-people-continue-to-live-here cold. But the wheels of commerce can’t just shut down during the winter months (which I believe are September through May in Minnesota). The business owners couldn’t very well enclose the streets and sidewalks and heat them. For one, the streets and sidewalks are public property. Also, that’s a huge economic undertaking. So to accommodate shoppers, they built the Skybridge network, a series of enclosed walkways that criss-cross the downtown core.

It’s a pretty goddamned big system.

And it’s private.

Meaning, the rights you have as a citizen in a public place (free assembly, for example. Or even just the right to be there at all) is nonexistent. You know what you won’t see in the Skyways? People begging for change. They aren’t really welcome there. And each individual business is more than happy to have  their own security show such a person the door.

And in this case, that door leads to the street.

I suspect there are beggars on the streets of downtown Minneapolis. I also suspect that they’re largely invisible. Forgotten.

Being an “undesirable” in a place that gets to dictate where you can and can’t go has got to suck. And it’s something many of us in this culture don’t have to deal with on a regular basis.

As an added bonus, it was decided that my story would take place in the 1980′s. There was a lot going on in the 80′s. I decided to focus on the transitioning punk rock music scene, as traditional punk gave way to Oi and Hardcore. And Minneapolis had a thriving punk scene. One of my favorite bands, The Replacements, came out of there. I was introduced to punk through, among other bands, Husker Du, also from Minneapolis.

I had my location and I had my character–a punk youth, an outcast in a frozen city. I had the secret elements I was working with. And the theme fell into my lap from there. And knowing the theme helped pull the story together in really short order. 3 days, in fact, not counting a morning of jotting down notes over coffee.

The experience was positive enough that I’m no longer so quick to call bullshit on this whole theme thing. I’m going to give it a try and see what comes of it. So far, I’ve been pretty happy with the results.

Reinventing Thor

Posted: July 12, 2012 in Anthologies, Short Fiction


What if Thor was a Blaxploitation character in the mid-70′s?

My brain asks these questions some times.

Oftentimes, they turn into stories.

In this case, I was contemplating the Cobalt City Timeslip anthology Timid Pirate Publishing was putting together. We had stories ranging from the early pre-history of the area up to modern, but no one had tackled the Silver Age. Or, as I like to think of it, the period of Weird Heroes. This was the era where you got a lot of strange comic books, including favorite characters like Ragman, Howard the Duck, Man-Thing, Daimon Hellstrom the Son of Satan, Brother Voodoo, or Satana, Ghost Rider, and of course Dracula from Tomb of Dracula. You were starting to see superhero books that flirted with the mystical and certainly the weird. You were also seeing a decade of new, prominent black characters–you could tell because most of them had “Black” in the name: Black Lightning, Black Panther, Black Goliath, and then Power Man, and the Falcon (debuting in 1969 as the first character of African descent not to have “Black” in his name).

The mid-seventies in comics was just way too cool for someone to pass up.

So I started thinking about what was going on in the mid-seventies that excited me. Part of it was that whole post-Age of Aquarius vibe of magic and the old gods returning. Toss in movies like Shaft and Superfly. Then there was the music! Soul was starting to give way to disco. These were chaotic times.

The mid-seventies were tumultuous. Watergate was still fresh on the mind, as was the specter of the Vietnam War. That was some very fertile ground in which to plant seeds.

So I thought about one of the most iconic god-heroes of comic books–the golden haired, hammer-swinging God of Thunder. I mean, he’s public domain. No one owns the Nordic gods. And in fact, the more you distance your vision of Thor from an established interpretation, the more freedom you get. So what if Thor wasn’t a person so much as a title–an Avatar or the concept of the God of Thunder? What if Thor was like a Voodun Loa, a powerful spirit that rode a mortal host, a horse/mount as it were? Well then…Thor could really be anyone then, couldn’t he?

For instance, the mantle of Thor could be passed from one person to another on the field of battle, from a dreamy eyed Norwegian-American soldier to his platoon-mate, a hardened African-American from a poor neighborhood of Cobalt City. He’s not really Thor. He’s just the current embodiment of Thor.

This is how Cole Washington was born–an amalgam of influences culminating in my story “The War at Home” which is now available to read for free on Timid Pirate’s site.

But here’s where the story gets interesting.

It seems my friend and fellow author Minerva Zimmerman is a HUGE fan of Nordic mythology. And my story sparked all kinds of ideas in her brilliantly twisted mind. The end result of that is her novella “The Place Between,” in which Cole’s daughter begins to navigate her own destiny and her own relationship with the God of Thunder. Rich with humor, humanity, a clear love of Nordic mythology, and a hearty dose of action, this is the Thor for the NEXT generation. It’s currently available in Cobalt City Double Features, either directly from Timid Pirate in a 3-format bundle, or straight to your Kindle from Amazon. It will be available from the Barnes & Noble site soon directly to your Nook.

It even includes a smashing new Erik Scott de Bie novella featuring Stardust and Lady Vengeance which is not to be missed.

It’s a good summer to be a superhero fan!

Make Friends with Failure

Posted: June 19, 2012 in Novels, Short Fiction

Two faces of Buddha.

As I start this post, I’m about ten minutes away from 2am. I tried to sleep. I really did. I can’t do it, somehow. For reasons I can’t really explain, I’m utter shit at sleeping lately. I’ll have a few successive nights of four hours or so, maybe less, then I’ll collapse from exhaustion and sleep for ten or more hours. One might say, oh, for purposes of this post for instance, that I’m currently a failure at sleeping.

So let’s talk about failure for a bit.

I hear you ask, “Why not talk about success? Isn’t that much nicer?”

At least I think I near you asking that. It could be the sleep deprivation.

Sure. Success is nice. And really, they’re two sides of the same coin. So tell you what–I’ll throw you a goddamned bone for comparative purposes if nothing else.

This past weekend was the Locus Awards, so that puts the whole success/failure dichotomy into some practical focus. There was a wonderful reading by Connie Willis and James Patrick Kelly on Friday night, who then appeared on one of two informative panels Saturday–these also featured Kij Johnson, Gary K. Wolfe, Greg Bear, and Jay Lake. There was so much talent on those panels (and attending the whole weekend), that it was only natural that industry success was one of the discussion topics.

I suspect that’s natural when award season comes around. Taking home a statue or plaque engraved with your name is a concrete benchmark of success. But it isn’t the only measure of success, because everything is a matter of perspective. Many amazingly talented people have never won an award. And there are more than a few famous names who died considering themselves failures because they never found their audience (For example, Emily Dickinson’s first book of poetry was published in 1890–four years after her death).

Success is not some singular yet abstract goal line.

Instead, it is countless goal lines, spread all over the place. Cracking that market you really want to be published in is one. That elusive (heck, ANY elusive award) is another. It could be that first pro sale. Meeting that tough deadline. Securing an agent. That first book deal. A monetary value. That difficult story you really wanted to finish. A book blurb from one of your writing heroes. If something good happens (particularly if it’s for the first time), that’s success of a kind. But those lines are arbitrary and each has only as much weight as you want to invest in it.

Because like any goal line, any milestone, success is only an indicator of where you’ve been, not of where (or how far) you’re going.

A success in and of itself does not guarantee you further successes. You’re never finished. You still have to push on. Forever. Until you’re dead.

And if you’ve spent your life chasing goal lines it’s possible to have achieved amazing successes  in your life and see nothing but ones you haven’t crossed when you make that final curtain call.

(As an aside, it’s now 2:30, so I apologize if I sound bleak and misanthropic.)

As strange as it may sound, I find failure more powerful than success.

Maybe its because failure can be a great motivator.

I’ve had several occasions over the past few days to contemplate things that I wanted but couldn’t quite make happen. Some were personal matters of time management and organization. A few were social while some were professional. Some stung more than others. None were pleasant.

And I’m truly thankful for that.

Failure should not be pleasant. It should not be easy to swallow. It needs to hurt, otherwise we accept it and not strive to do better. Failure feeds the fire in the belly, makes us hungry for success, and gives us a greater appreciation when we reach it.

We are not failures because we fail. We become failures when we fail to try.

A little over ten years ago, I gave up writing. I had been writing screenplays with a writing partner out in Cleveland for a few years. We got a few pitches in, but an actual option, an actual sale…that remained elusive. I gave up and I considered myself a failure.

…for about two years.

I  failed as a writer simply by failing to BE a writer.

When I started writing again, it was my original love–short stories. My first novel followed shortly thereafter. I had tried submitting short stories to various markets before, but never with any success. But I got serious about the writing, and eventually I was submitting stories to various markets as of seven years ago. Any publication at that point was its own success. And for every success, at least three more failures. In fact, it took a year and a half of failure before I got my first publication, “Kid Gloves” for which I received a t-shirt.

But I kept at it. I’m not, as my friend and fellow author Jeremy Zimmerman likes to put it, “kind of a big deal.” I still have a long way to go. But the me from seven years ago would be thrilled to see how far I’d come.

I’m not afraid of failure. Not anymore. I’ve learned to make friends with it, use it to keep me hungry. And baby, I’m starving because I still fail all the time. I’ve had 19 story submissions so far this year. Almost half of them have been rejections (and there are still several I’m waiting to hear from). For the most part, those rejected stories got dusted off and sent back out. There are milestones in my sights. And I’m going to keep marching until I get there.

“Can you describe the killer, ma’am?”

Ever author gets asked this eventually.

“Where do your stories come from?”

Every story is different. This is the anatomy of my most recent, “Monkey Makes Five.”

Those who know me probably know that me and puppets…we don’t get along. Really. The first time I saw the amazingly talented author and puppeteer Mary Robinette Kowal walking a marionette down the hallway of Norwescon several years ago, I had a bit of a terror response. See, it’s one thing to be prepared to see puppets, but to have one walk down the hallway towards you in a crowded place? Especially with what I know about puppets? Terror.

See, puppets want to kill you.

Or at least that’s what I believed at an early age.

With marionettes, at least they’re as limited as their strings.

But that madness-inducing second cousin of the marionette, the ventriloquist dummy…

I entirely blame the early commercials for the movie Magic (1978), 30 seconds of pants wetting terror consisting of a dummy against a black background reciting a little poem. I’ve included a link to the original trailer for the brave of heart. I remember the exact circumstances of seeing this trailer for the first, and for decades, only time. I was nine, and it triggered something in me, a memory of a very brief Charlie McCarthy movie clip where he and Mortimer Snerd (both dummies), were acting independent of any human operators. I saw that movie clip when I was very young, and it set an expectation that “Oh, so they don’t need people!” Nine years old, sitting on the carpet, I realized “Oh, they don’t need people. And they want to kill you.”

My response was getting rid of all my stuffed animals, bagging them up to put in the basement. I didn’t have any dummies, nor any puppets. But the stuffed animals were collaborators. I couldn’t even trust my beloved Smokey the Bear anymore. And of course my dad saying, “That’s just going to make them angry” probably tacked a few more years onto my phobia. Thanks dad.

Flash forward to me as a relatively well-adjusted adult writing product copy for a charity based dot com. (And by relatively well adjusted I mean that I can sleep with the lights off and don’t panic when left alone in the company of doll-like objects. But I’m not going to sleep with something like that in the room. I’m not crazy, after all!) We received in our offices a product from Guatemala–a bag of zoo animal finger puppets that had my co-workers delighted.

“You know, those are just a gateway puppet,” I told them.

Gateway puppet.

That’s how it starts.

Small.

Innocent.

Thus was planted the seed to a story. I had the title over two years ago. I had the ending already in mind at that time. I just wasn’t sure how to get there.

The biggest roadblock for me was that for the story to work, I had to make the central character vulnerable. And that was fairly new territory for me. See, I’ve written a fair degree of horror, and for the most part, my protagonists (even the doomed ones), are basically capable  people. I hate bullies, and victimizing someone who is already somewhat of a victim doesn’t sit well with me. Don’t get me wrong. I know there are reasons to do it, and I’ve read several stories where it’s done really well. A character already suffering from life’s setbacks facing one more, deadly challenge, is not new ground. But to my memory, many times they use that disadvantage to their benefit in some way to come out victorious. 1967′s masterful Wait Until Dark with Audrey Hepburn as a bind woman menaced by thugs in her apartment who are looking for a heroin-stuffed doll is a good example. (See it!)

But I couldn’t let her come out victorious. That wouldn’t work in this story. It would kill the impact of the closing image that inspired the entire damn story.

I had to face it. Ultimately I was going to have to do something horrible to an old woman character who was not in prime fighting shape.

There was one angle that made it a little easier to manage, and that was the horror trope of “bad things happen to bad person who has it coming.” That is also well-trod territory, and it’s the way I had to go. Finding the balance was tricky, however and it took me a long time to cowboy up and write. The reader has to have someone to root for. And here I was making the central character flat out mean enough for me to justify what I was going to do to her in the story.

After wrestling with it off an on for two years with numerous false starts, I wrote the full story in two sittings over the past few weeks. Part of it was was finding not only a good ending, but a strong opening hook as well. The other part was realizing that while that mean old lady was the POV character, she wasn’t the central character.

And realizing who, or what, that central character turned out to be…

Guess I’ll go back to sleeping with the lights on.